One of the perks of a career as a freelance writer is that the world is your Virtual Office. Just give me a small space to set up my laptop, good reception for my BlackBerry, and (ideally) access to wireless Internet and the doors of Jeff Roberts Ink™ are officially open (not that they ever officially close – just ask my wife about my late-night work habits!).
Over the past few days, the Borders bookstore café has served as the headquarters of my transient work habits. Located near the magazine section, it consists of 10 or 12 tables with a small snack and coffee bar – I’m sure you’ve seen the type. Anyway, my natural people-watching tendencies lead me to discover a whole new subculture of activity that occurs on a daily basis.
While there is a seemingly endless variety of bookstore café characters, four types of personality classifications come immediately to mind:
The "Coffee House Canoodler" – Obviously barred from authentic coffee bars for her obnoxious behavior, this over-caffeinated piece of work loudly voices her displeasure at the limited selection of coffees and lattés available at a bookstore. (This ain’t Starbucks, honey – order your vanilla mocha with extra whip, shut up, and step aside.)
The “Bookstore Is My Babysitter” Dad – This creative kid watcher effortlessly projects disinterest as he monotonely and repeatedly tells his swarming brood of youngsters to “leave me alone and go look at the books, leave me alone and go look at the books.” The end result, of course, is that these little happy, grimy faces end up at my table, staring over my shoulder at my laptop, all the while squealing, “Hey, mister – whatcha doin’?”
The "Library Loser" – This cheapskate would never even THINK of actually purchasing any of the magazines, newspapers, or books that he drools over while inhaling his FREE muffin sample.
The “Captain Of Industry” – For this guy, it’s not enough to have a quiet place to work outside of the office. Obviously starved for attention, he sets his ringtone to the loudest possible setting and when he receives a call every few minutes, complains about his hectic schedule and busy workload. Of course, when the call ends, he goes back to reading his golf magazine.
The next time I set up shop at the Borders café, I’ll keep my eyes open in search of other classifications of this periodical-loving species.
Talk to you soon. Until then, pick up the pace and run your own race.
- Jeff
3 comments:
Hey Jeff,
Very clever! you've got it nailed! I would love to have an office there! But you forgot one important category of customer, The true booknut! Yes, that's right...I'm the one who walks into the store bug-eyed, searches all the isles, doesn't answer my cell because I don't want to be disturbed, and at checkout with armful brimming with books like a freshman in college purchasing semester books...and I was just there yesterday! ha! Enjoyed reading this. Take care...She
OK I'm the Library Loser. Although I pass on the free muffin sample (which has probably been sitting out for hours and has been handled by the children of "The bookstore is my babysitter" dad) I do enjoy sitting down and reading almost the entire issue of Oprah Magazine. As I leave the bookstore, I am pleasantly content with the knowledge that I just saved $3.99. Is this wrong? Anyway, I enjoyed your observations - very entertaining :)
Hey, Sheila - Thanks for the contribution. It's True Booknuts like you that keep Borders in business while I simply camp out and loiter in their cafe!
And Lisa - You're not cheap - I think Oprah would be proud of you! I was just reading the other day in O magazine about creative ways to make the most of every day. (Not that I make a habit of reading woman-focused magazines. Oh, who I am kidding - see my published letter in the June 2005 edition of O!)
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